nothing was wasted…
it’s currently 7:09 p.m. on sunday, december 28th. in this mindful moment, I’m sitting on my couch, watching a movie, and enjoying a very slow and final sunday of the year. earlier today, I had a long conversation with my mom about where I am in life right now, the ways God has so clearly worked in my life, and the power of relinquishing control. I shared with her that I truly feel 2026 holds so much goodness for me, the essence of “the best is yet to come.” I’ve been planting seeds for quite some time now in many areas of my life, and I genuinely believe that the year ahead marks a season of harvest.
as I sit here, absentmindedly doomscrolling, a post passes by on Instagram with the song Open My Heart by Yolanda Adams attached. this song already carries deep meaning for me, but even from a brief two-second snippet, something stirred within me. this is one of the many reasons I love music so deeply, the way it evokes emotion and how it can transport you back to a moment you’ve already lived, or even invite you into a small space of imagination, guided solely by lyrics and sound. this particular listen brought me back to the last time I played this song and the space of life I was in then. earlier this year, I listened to it as an outcry to God. I was in the lowest place I had ever known, facing life-altering decisions, navigating immense uncertainty, and existing in a space completely devoid of clarity. it was one of the darkest seasons of my life, and the lyrics of that song mirrored the intimate and raw conversations I was having with God during that time. fast-forward to these final days of 2025, listening again, and the tears came, as they always do, but this time in a completely different way. instead of tears of helplessness, they were tears of immense gratitude.
I’m not ashamed to say that 2025 has been the heaviest and most transformational year of my entire life. from january until now, it has truly been a rollercoaster. when I look back at the woman I was in the earlier months of this year, I barely recognize her. reflecting on all that I endured, the major decisions, the necessary shedding of some of the people closest to me, navigating motherhood with two small children, managing relationships, continuing to build my career, showing up for my loved ones, pushing through a demanding graduate program, and still finding a way to show up for myself, I’m honestly in awe. those closest to me often express admiration, and sometimes concern, about how I manage it all with grace. but today, for the first time this entire year, I feel like I’ve truly sat with everything I’ve carried. and the one word that encapsulates it all is gratitude.
I’m grateful for everything this year has taught me and transformed me into. although I faced some of my toughest challenges and lived in a “gray space” for what felt like so long, I now see that discomfort was the precursor to deep transformation. I am an entirely different woman. this year taught me to stand firmly and unapologetically in my boundaries, to honor my values as a woman and a mother, to stand in my truth, to relinquish control, to be unapologetically multi-dimensional, and to release anything that is not aligned with what God has for me and my purpose on this earth. there were many moments when I didn’t know how I would make it to the other side of healing, but I kept going. when things didn’t make sense, didn’t feel fair, or required unexpected detours, God was gently reminding me to trust Him. through it all, He has shown me time and time again that there is immense favor over my life.
looking back now and standing where I am mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I am simply grateful. I’m grateful for the good and the bad. the highs and the lows. the lessons. the wisdom. the clarity. the discernment. the grace. the favor. the covering. and most importantly… love.
the best is truly yet to come, because I choose to live as if it already is.
slowly and reverently,
Mar B. 🪷
